Nobody prepares you for betrayal; it comes and before you now it, a rug is hastily pulled from under your feet. It leaves you confused, but the confusion is not commensurate to the pain it births.
For days and nights unending you question everything. What you did to deserve it; and what you could have done to avoid it? You question your very reality, which in the blink of an eye just turned into a nightmare. The worst you could ever think of.
Betrayal feels like a blunt knife is plugged into the softest tissues of your body, then twisted back and forth in slow motion. It is gruesome! It is enormous; not enough to the point where it kills you; just enough to keep you alive and ensure you feel every excruciating bit of it.
At this point you learn that it is possible to go for days without sleep. And when you finally fall asleep, it is because your organs are afraid of shutting down. You stay alive; though that is not the first thing you want to do. Up until this time, you never knew how much tears your eyes are capable of producing.
Your saliva, with time becomes salty, and eventually bitter. You are not able to eat!
Only your dearest of friends and family are by you at this time. Only them will allow their clothes to be drenched in your tears. You will ask them questions. Difficult questions, which neither they nor anyone else can ever answer. But nonetheless, they will be there. Pat your back, and tell you that everything will be okay. This, during tough times will be more than enough.
I hope that in these times you cry to God, He understands. I hope that in your brokenness, you find reassurance in Him. I hope that in your devastation, His goodness covers you. I pray that in all your afflictions, His grace will be sufficient.
I pray that when you are down trodden, you learn to pick the lessons from the ground which you would not have picked when you were standing up. I pray that when you are down trodden, you build a strong foundation on which you will slowly learn to build and rise up on. I pray that you learn to accept that apology you never received. I pray that if nothing else, you will not give up!
Maybe that betrayal is what you needed. Just maybe! It may not seem like it; but isn’t it an eye opener? Maybe it is an answer in disguise to one of your many prayers.
Sometimes it takes a mountain
Sometimes a troubled sea
Sometimes it takes a desert
To get a hold of me
Your Love is so much stronger
Then whatever troubles me
Sometimes it takes a mountain
To trust you and believe – Gaither Vocal Band
I pray you remember that indeed, He who watches you never sleeps, He never slumbers. He is not blind to your pain.
I pray you remember that He KNOWS the plans He has for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I pray that you will be able to keep it together; and live through it.
God’s plan is brilliant; His purpose is good; but His ways are mysterious.
Love and Light.